“The Overall Sense of Struggle & Survival” – @abucalves

“Top 5 dead or alive, and that’s just off one LP”

This line uttered by Jadakiss for a long time described one of my personal top 5, Joe Budden.

In 2019, Joe is one of the most influential people in the world of hip-hop. His twice-weekly podcast is one of the first outlets people to turn to when they want to hear discussion on the latest happenings in hip-hop But in 2003, Joe Budden was an up and coming rapper releasing his debut album.

In a post Get Rich or Die Tryin world, journalists described everyone as their label’s answer to 50 Cent. Freeway was the Roc’s, Cassidy was Ruff Ryders’ and Joe Budden was Def Jam’s. This was a purely superficial comparison, as sometimes the only connection between 50 and those artists was mixtapes.

Joe’s debut album came hot off the heels of a mixtape run, started off on DJ Clue tapes then expanding. His freestyles gained attention from iconic record label Def Jam, who put his street single Focus on the classic game Def Jam Vendetta. His next single, Pump It Up, was a smash…

Those who picked up the album based on the freestyles and singles might have been surprised by what they heard. Instead of opening with an upbeat, punchline heavy track, Intro featured a brooding track with moody guitars with the opening lines exhibiting the honesty that Joe would become known for

“The time is finally near, it’s getting closer I’m finally scared,”

What followed this was 14 more songs, some of club songs, some girl songs, but what stood out to me was the introspective tracks. I remember first listening to this album, I didn’t know anything about Joe, beyond his appearance on Def Jam Vendetta. Someone told me he could get me a copy and got me a bootleg of the album. After the intro, the next song that stood out to was Walk With Me. Another gloomy beat, asks listeners to come and walk with him as he laments on the paranoia following his signing, from old friends and long lost family members trying to get on, to the suspicion he was going through his old hood, as more and more people begin to recognize him.

On the second verse, many of the themes that we have heard from Joe both as a rapper and a personality crop up. He reveals some of the issues he has with his baby mother, and we even get a mention of his son Trey

“If you met my baby moms would you notice
If she was ready for a child of if her ass had an ulterior motive
I don’t know what she’s teaching Trey but everday he get older
Angie’s bitter and feel like now that I’m successful I owe her
Cause she would hold me so tight when I was ready to relapse
Tell me to relax, I ain’t know no better straight out of rehab
Bottom line I was lonesome
But we was wrong for each other, Angie I grown some”

Seeing Joe reconcile with his son has been one of the highlights of seeing him mature in front of our eyes. The next part of the verse deals with his relationship with Def Jam, which would go on to become tumultuous following this album.

“Got bigger issues, if you went to Def Jam would you notice
If they was out for my best interest or do they just see a dollar in Joseph?”

16 years later, this is something Joe is still dealing with. This past year on the podcast, he spoke about how the label is treating Future, that this is someone who is potentially going through serious issues, but his record label is using it as a marketing ploy. Joe throughout his career has been concerned for artists over the machine, and this was evidenced as far back as the first album.

The next highlight for me is Calm Down. Across some emotional keys and horns (what more can you ask for from a beat? Flutes? Unleash the flutes on ‘em Guru) Joe pens a letter to his mum, at first blaming her for his addiction, but by the end of the song recognising that she would always be there for him, showing gratitude for all the support and the praying his mum did for him.

3 songs later is what might be my favorite and a song I feel gets forgotten about because of the song that follows and that is “Stand Up Nucca.” For 48 bars Joe relays different scenarios of people who beat the system, some of my favorites being:

“And run from the cops cause you know the streets better”

“Pop can’t be found, hand me down
When you the oldest out of five, hold the family down”

“Got charged before, strap a gun anyway
Took the state’s lawyer, but you won anyway”

Joe closes the verse with a line that I made my MSN screen name for the longest time

“Stand up cats beat the odds by far
Real recognize real, R.R.R”

On the intro to the song Joe says

“It’s not an introduction, it’s more like a beginning
It’s like the calm before the storm
I guess you can sorta call it, the rebirth
Or the birth period… it’s the growth.”

The Growth was set to be the follow up to this album but was delayed by Def Jam and was never released. Growth is an interesting word to use for someone like Joe Budden, who some of us have seen grow and mature over these past 16 years. So while the album never came out, Joe’s career following this album has been growth.

Stand Up Nucca leads directly into 10 Minutes, which is considered one of the classic Joe Budden tracks. Presented as Joe opening up while on a 10 minute smoke break, he speaks on his father’s incarceration, spitting a line that would echo around my head for years:

“Some days I don’t wanna be bothered
Some days I just miss my father”

The last verse sees Joe baring his soul, describing an affair with a married woman. We get a snippet of the story and we are promised to get an update on a later mixtape track

“Then the mistress, yeah, the girl from “10 Minutes,” it’s her
Now I’m needin’ 10 minutes from her
I can’t get into it, but I want y’all to know
That I’ll get into it, but I’ll save that for The Growth”

While the album came out, this longstanding narrative we have seen of Joe Budden is partially why people are so drawn to his music. Through various mediums, we have seen his life play out over 16 years. The honesty he exhibits is why Joe has such a passionate fanbase, there are people who have seen him at his very worst, so when we see things like him reconciling with his son, his picture with Hov, him getting the Spotify deal, a part of us is there with him. And Joe has always been very upfront about it.

And how does a white, British teenager relate to Joe Budden? On the surface not at all, after all, I had not gone through any of the experiences that 23-year-old Joe had been through at the age of 13. But the overall sense of struggle and survival is something that resonated with me. My dad passed away in the year 2000, I was just 11 years old. The following years were odd, to say the least, you are in a particularly weird place following the loss of a parent, especially in those formative years. So his music, while maybe not speaking on issues directly affecting me, had an overarching sentiment of enduring through it all, and that always stuck with me.

With this album, Joe Budden went into my top 5. Following the album, Joe released Mood Muzik. For many who had only heard Pump It Up, these mixtapes were a shock to the system, but for those who had picked up his debut (even if it was a bootleg), we knew this introspective music was always part of his sound. This willingness to share meant Joe would become a major influence on the current sound of hip hop, even if people don’t acknowledge it.

If you’re interested in sharing a story on how music affected or changed your life, or you just want to speak to the people, you can submit it here.

Leave a comment